The Hole Will Appear

 I lost someone very dear to me this evening. To those of you who are angry at me for complaining, yes, I know, death is normal. Happens all the time. And for those of you saying that this isn't the point of this blog, I also know this is an inspiration blog. But, I feel like for there to be a need for inspiration, we need to suffer. And the Lord (whether you believe in him or not) knows that I have done my fair deal of suffering just in the past two years alone. I've lost five people very close to me in just two years. You'd think I would have grown used to it by now, but guess what? I haven't, in any way.

Now cheer up; this isn't going to be a whole post about how horrible my life is. Because it does have it's bright points, which is what I intend this to be about.

Through talking with my best friend and thinking to myself, I've compiled a list of things that I love about my grandmother (the women I lost). I've only let happy things onto the list, pushing away all of the sad and angry ones that try to make their way on. And the list has grown pretty long. And surprisingly, it's helped if only a tiny bit.

I guess my point is, that no matter how deep you think you've sunken, there is always a way out. No, I haven't gotten out yet. And I doubt I will for quite a while. But I can see the hole where I'll begin to dig. And I know that it's possible to get out. I won't be stuck in this pit of despair forever. Whether you have to rely on a friend or family member to start that hole, or if you can start it yourself, it doesn't matter. That hole is going to begin to show itself to you, and the sunlight is going to stream in. You won't be in the darkness forever.

Plus, who said the dark is a bad thing? I've learned the truest and deepest things about myself when I've been trapped in a dark spot where I couldn't see anyone else and I couldn't even trust myself.Darkness and sadness can be scary, but just like happiness and light, it is very necessary.

 I just want people to know that it's going to be alright in the end. And I want people to know this, because I've been to a point way to many times where I thought it wasn't going to be okay. I thought I was drowning and that I would never resurface. A few times I had to pull myself out, and that's when I realized how strong I was. Other times, someone else had to pull me out. And I've realized that there's nothing wrong with that. What are friends for but to pull you from a place that you're took far stuck in to help yourself out of?

Last but not least, I am always here. Even now, when I'm wallowing here in this pit and I feel like I myself can barely stand, I am always here for anyone who needs to talk. Even if you don't know me and we're complete strangers; I'm here. If you feel like someone doesn't care, well guess what? I care. I care with every ounce of my soul. I care because I've been down too many times when I felt no one cared for me, and that's the toughest thing to go through. I don't want anyone to have to feel that. 

It takes a really rough time for a person to remember that others are struggling too. That relying on others during these times doesn't show you your weak, it shows that you have trust.